


Not a Breakup

by TheArtificialDane, veronicasanders



Series: Galactica [13]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Domestic, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:00:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22959811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtificialDane/pseuds/TheArtificialDane, https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronicasanders/pseuds/veronicasanders
Summary: It might be over, but that doesn't mean it's the end.
Relationships: Courtney Act & Danny Noriega | Adore Delano, Jinkx Monsoon/Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, Jinkx Monsoon/Danny Noriega | Adore Delano/Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, Vanessa Vanjie Mateo & Danny Noriega | Adore Delano
Series: Galactica [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1191028
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Not a Breakup

It wasn’t a break-up. 

It was a lot more gradual, more gentle, than a break-up. 

It began with Adore spending more nights in her own bedroom. But of course, Adore had always needed a little more space, a little more alone time, than Jinkx or Alaska did. So that wasn’t unusual, really. 

At first, looking through the potential sperm donors was fun. Like a game. Pick the best genetic material. But then it began to get real, and she stepped back a bit. And yet she still held Alaska’s hand during all the IVF injections, was there for the implantation, cracking jokes about the miracle of life. 

And three months later, when Alaska miscarried, she was the one who held her while she cried, brought her soup and flowers and sang to her. Jinkx was grateful, because she was dealing with her own devastation, her own sense of profound loss that she tried desperately not to show, not wanting Alaska to feel even worse. 

By the time Adore left for her tour, Alaska seemed like herself again. Adore kissed her cheek, hugged Jinkx, and waved goodbye, feeling nothing but love for the women who’d become the center of her world, even if their plans for the future were starting to deviate from her own. 

***

_ ALASKA: AMAZING NEWS _

_ JINKX: FaceTime when you can. <3 _

_ ALASKA: We miss you!!!! _

Adore flopped onto her hotel bed, exhausted and content, after what had been an amazing performance, a magical night. It was late - too late to be FaceTiming her girlfriends, already morning in Berlin, but curiosity got the better of her, so she picked up her iPad from the nightstand and dialed. 

_ “Bear!!!” _ Alaska’s voice was bright and cheerful, happier than she’d sounded in a long time. 

“Hi, my loves!” Adore waved at the screen. 

_ “How was your show, baby?”  _ Jinkx asked.

“It was so, so good. Val’s girlfriend got some awesome footage, I’ll send it to you later.” 

_ “Can’t wait!”  _

“Party,” Adore yawned. 

_ “Aww, sleepyhead. What are you even doing awake? Isn’t it 6 am in Germany?” _

“Yeah. I just got back. But I need to hear about this amazing news, so...hit me.”

_ “Well.” _ Alaska bit her lip, excitement palpable even through the low res video. She poked Jinkx in the shoulder, giggling.  _ “You tell her.” _

_ “Okay...so, there’s this girl I know from the center. Vanessa. She’s hilarious, smart, just an all-around great kid. Also, like, a talented dancer with some of the best stage presence I’ve ever seen. She’s been coming for years and she’s always been one of my favorites. Not that I’d tell anyone that but-” _

_ “Jinkx!” _

_ “I’m giving background! Anyway, she went to one of the counselors last week, super distraught. She could barely get a sentence out. They called me in because they know that I have a kind of bond with her, and it turns out that she’s pregnant.” _

“Oh, shit.” Adore’s eyes widened. “How old is she?”

_ “Fifteen.” _

“Oh,  _ shit. _ ” 

_ “Yeah, poor baby, she’s so scared. She was pretty far along before she even found out, and then her foster mom kicked her out and she was going to be sent to one of those awful group homes. But I spoke to her social worker and she agreed to let her live here.” _ Jinkx’s eyes were shining.

“So...you’re adopting a pregnant teenager?”

_ “Kind of.” _ Jinkx glanced at Alaska.

_ “Nothing is guaranteed yet, but it seems like...she really isn’t ready to be a mother, obviously-” _

“Obviously.”

_ “But...well, earlier this week, Alaska was talking to her about pregnancy--you know, commiserating, and she told her about the miscarriage, and then she...asked us if we’d want to adopt her baby.” _

“Whoa.”

_ “She obviously can’t make the final decision yet, but we’ve gotten her a lawyer and it seems like...this is a real possibility.” _

_ “Her due date is at the beginning of July-”  _ Alaska’s voice broke. __

Adore nodded, understanding why she was so emotional. When Alaska had been pregnant, her due date was June. Pretty close. Almost fatefully so. 

_ “It just seems right,” Jinkx added.  _

Adore took a deep breath. 

“Well...um...I hope it works out…”

_ “We wanted you to know before it went any further.” _

“Yeah. Right. Thanks, that’s...that’s really great, guys.”

_ “Are you okay?” _

“Yeah! Of course, I’m just tired. Rock star life, you know…” Adore laughs weakly. 

_ “Go to sleep, Lil Bear. We can talk tomorrow.” _

“Okay. I love you guys.”

_ “We love you.” _

_ “We love you  _ so _ much.” _

***

Vanessa turned out to be every bit as hilarious and charming as Jinkx described, and Adore soon found herself spending most afternoons with her - marathoning crappy TV shows, indulging in as much junk food as Alaska allowed into the house. While Alaska was at work and Jinkx was at the foundation, Adore became something of an unofficial guardian. 

Not that Vanessa needed supervision, she insisted. After all, she was already pregnant. How much more trouble could she get into? But she did enjoy having company while she worked away on her GED. (Even if that company was generally a little bit stoned, making her long for her stupid pregnancy to be over so that she could have fun again.) 

They had a good time together. Found out quickly that they were both Buffy fanatics, and had the same taste in music. They both loved to spend hours rooting through the discount bins in thrift stores, and had a similar mischievous sense of humor. Adore had always felt a little slighted that as the youngest in her family by far, she never had a younger sibling to tease and torture and boss around. With Vanessa, she felt like she finally knew what that would have been like. 

“Adore...psst!” 

Adore groaned. It was the middle of the night, and she’d been woken up from a dead sleep by the weight of Vanessa’s body sitting on her and poking her in the shoulder. 

“Adore! Wake up, girl!” 

“Whaaaaat?” Adore whined, head buried in the pillow. 

“I’m hungry.” 

“So order some food,” Adore told her, eyes still shut.

“‘Order?’ Come on, you bougie bitch, let’s walk to the corner and get a slice like normal people.”

It wasn’t until the word “slice” that Adore cranked one eye open. 

“A slice?” 

“Yeah, I’m craving Artichoke,” Vanessa said. 

Once the name of Adore’s favorite pizza place slipped from Vanessa’s lips, she sat straight up, knocking the smaller girl off. 

“Gimme five minutes.” 

“Perfect.” Vanessa laughed. 

Having Vanessa around was a great reminder for Adore how much she enjoyed spontaneity, adventure. Even if that spontaneous adventure was bundling up in a coat and getting pizza at 3 in the morning. 

She loved Jinkx and Alaska to death, but they would never even think of something like that. They didn’t even like to come to her shows, since she usually didn’t get onstage before midnight. After Jinkx finished her run as Evita, getting her to leave the house after 7 was a chore. And Alaska was relieved to have an excuse to stay home, since she was still working at Galactica and business hours there began promptly at 10. 

Adore understood. She knew that her “lifestyle” as a musician was very different from theirs. She also knew that Jinkx’s days of hardcore partying were (fortunately, she supposed) in her past. Alaska was never that big of a partier to begin with. So it made sense that they wanted a calmer life with a sane schedule. 

Sometimes it made her feel a little lonely, though. Especially when she’d arrive back at their building at 5 in the morning, when the first rays of sunlight were beginning to illuminate the clouds, nodding hello to the exhausted night-shift doorman, knowing that they were likely the only people in the building still awake. 

She found herself increasingly excited, once Vanessa moved in - to have someone to share all the sordid details of her club gigs and the ridiculous antics that she got up to with her bandmates. To have someone who didn’t blink at her when she quoted Rihanna lyrics or the latest TikTok. Someone who mirrored her same puzzled expression when Jinkx and Alaska dropped obscure musical theatre references. 

***

It had been ages since she’d seen Courtney. Probably not since that shit-show Brazil trip. When she’d first moved to Los Angeles, they’d still spoken every day, but lately it felt like more and more time went by between messages. 

She knew that Courtney was busy, was working constantly and trying to build a new life for herself in LA. She understood. But at the same time, she missed her best friend. 

The Lightning in a Bottle festival was a perfect excuse to fly out and see her, get in a few days of quality time before she had to perform. The second Courtney opened the door, she squealed, nearly tackling her to the ground with excitement, unable to stop the happy tears that pricked her eyes. 

Courtney laughed, hugging her back. 

“Nice to see you too, honey.”

Adore wiped her eyes, a little embarrassed at the display. 

“Yeah, well...it’s been ages.” 

“I know,” Courtney said, leading her into the living room and settling onto the sofa. “But I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too. Like...you have no fucking idea how much.”

Courtney smiled and tucked some of Adore’s hair behind her ear. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah! Yeah, it’s great. You know, Alaska is like, on cloud nine, and Jinkx is just happy she’s happy, and Vanessa super cool. So...yeah, it’s all good.” Adore painted a bright smile on her face. 

Courtney nodded, bright eyes watching Adore, taking in what she was saying. Adore felt herself begin to shrink a little. It had been too long; so long that maybe she’d forgotten how well Courtney knew her. How easily she’d be able to see through her superficial bravado. Adore decided to try another tactic. 

“I mean, really. Vanessa is so much fun. She’s like, my new best friend, now that you’re gone.” 

“Your new best friend is a teenager?” Courtney looked a bit taken aback, almost worried. 

“Well. Not…” Adore lowered her eyes, suddenly feeling a bit defensive. “She’s fun, okay? More fun than most people I know.” 

“More fun than your girlfriends?” Courtney asked, one eyebrow raised. 

“I mean...sometimes, yeah. I love Jinkx and Alaska, but they’re like...grownups.” 

“Right. You know that like, technically, you’re a grownup too, right?” Courtney giggled, pulling Adore’s hair gently. 

“I never got that memo,” Adore said, adding, “Blame Bianca.” 

“Oh, I do,” Courtney assured her. “But...memo or not...there’s a baby coming. You must be feeling some kind of way about that, right?”

“Uhh...to be honest, I haven’t really thought about it.” 

“Adore.” Courtney’s voice was scolding, and Adore groaned. 

“Well, it’s not my baby! I mean...yeah, it’s coming, and whatever, but like…what does that even mean?” Adore closed her eyes, laying back on the sofa cushions. “Why do things have to  _ change _ ?”

“I dunno, honey, but...it seems like they do.”

“Well, that’s stupid.” Adore was well aware that she sounded like a petulant child, but she didn’t have the mental capacity to fake it anymore. “I didn’t sign up for that.”

Courtney, to her credit, didn’t say anything judgmental. Simply wrapped her in a hug and snuggled close. 

“So I guess the answer is that you’re feeling a bit conflicted?”

“I guess. Yeah.” Adore rested a chin on top of Courtney’s head. “I’m glad they’re happy. But like…” Adore took a deep breath. This wasn’t something easy for her to admit out loud. It was a thought that had been turning over and over in her mind for weeks. “I just wonder if I’m gonna fit in, once they’re like...a family.” 

Courtney twisted around to once again look at her.

“Adore, they love you. And that’s what makes you a family.”

“I know. I love them too. But I’m starting to think that this thing we have might have an expiration date.” 

The shift in Courtney’s expression was subtle. A softening of the eyes, something that might be easy to miss if Adore didn’t know her so well. But she did, and it was almost enough to make her tear up again. 

“And how do you feel about that?” she asked. 

“Uh...surprisingly okay?” Even Adore was a little shocked at the words that left her mouth, adding, “Maybe the fact that I feel okay means that it’s true?” 

“Wow…” Courtney nodded slowly, giving Adore the space to say more, if she needed. 

After a few moments, she did. 

“So who do I have to fuck to get a snack around here?” 

***

It wasn’t a break-up. It was just that once Femslash began to record their album, she found herself spending less time in the apartment, and more time in the studio. More time socializing with her bandmates and the engineers and promoters. She wasn’t staying away intentionally; she was doing the responsible thing and building a career. Making music she was proud of. 

And it worked; they were getting booked for more and more legitimate gigs instead of after-hours clubs in the wee hours of the morning. 

She wasn’t even sure that Jinkx or Alaska noticed. Once the baby was born, all of their energy was focused on their precious bundle of joy. Vanessa had signed the adoption papers as soon as she was legally allowed, expressing nothing so much as relief. If she ever hesitated or wavered in her decision, no one knew - even when Jinkx and Alaska revealed their choice for her name, chosen from their favorite musicals - Magenta Maria Monsoon. 

(Of course, as Adore quickly pointed out, Maggie would be rich enough that her name couldn’t possibly hold her back.) 

For Alaska and Jinkx, it was a blissful whirlwind. Of course, their love for Adore remained intact. But tracking her whereabouts just wasn’t their top priority. She was a big girl. She’d find her way home soon enough. 

The apartment fell into Adore’s lap, in a way. When Aja moved in with their girlfriend and vacated an amazing loft, she had only a day to decide if she was gonna take it, and impulsively said yes. 

The next day, she was home for dinner for the first time in awhile. In between the salad and Alaska’s experimental no-carb lasagna, she cleared her throat and brought it up quietly. 

“So, um...there’s this apartment. In Williamsburg.” At first, she avoided eye contact, feeling overwhelmed by guilt. 

Alaska was the one who reacted first, jumping up from the table and wrapping her into a big hug. Jinkx soon followed. 

Vanessa sat there, confusion all over her face, fork poised in midair. 

“What the fuck is happening? Are y’all breaking up?” 

“No,” Alaska said firmly. 

And she was right. Because it wasn’t a break-up.

After Adore moved out, she remained involved. Dinners, weekend brunches, whenever their schedules allowed it, they’d get together. Maybe less and less though, as time went on. 

It was Bianca’s holiday party when she realized that she hadn’t seen them in almost two months. She leaned against the wall and watched them, helping Maggie unwrap a gift, delight on all three of their faces. It was then when she realized, without question, that that chapter of her life, of their lives, was over. Only, it didn’t feel like a chapter ending. It felt like a song that faded out. That she was still humming, melody lingering, lyrics imprinted on her skin. 

It wasn’t a break-up. It was just...another beautiful memory. 

  
  



End file.
